Boyfriend think I don't love him because we don't have sex often. Warning, very LONG.?

We have been toegether for 3 years. Outside the bedroom, our relationship is wonderful. We have the same humor, he's supportive, funny, I've never met anyone who compliments me more, he's helpful, and easy to get along with. We've lived together for about 2 years now. We own a home, so over the last few years we've accumulated quite a few bills, which can be stressful on the relationship. Here's where the major problem hits. Our sex life. It's never been crazy or frequent or anything but it was more steady. I've never been very sexual, and can go months without it, no problem. My boyfriend thinks my reason for not having sex is that I don't love him. It has nothing to do with it. But when he wants it, he wants it right THEN and THERE! No romance, and its not sutble. He starts gropeing and I push him off because it makes me highly uncomfortable. Then he gets all drama queen, ';Fine, I'll never touch you again!';. My last serious relationship which lasted 3 years as well, he pushed me around and made me feel bad for everything, so from then on I havnt let anyone push me around or make me feel bad for something I feel strongly about. I don't feel bad about not making myself have sex, just for him. I've tried many many times, very straight forward how I felt and that maybe if he was more romantic, it would happen more. Or if he wasn't so aggresive. I've explained the bills make me somewhat stressed.. I've been extremely open and honest about it. I've never said ';ITS YOUR FAULT'; or anything like that. He also, always been paranoid. He thinks theres always someone else, and he most frequent is he thinks i dont love him enough. I love him plently as long as he isnt acting like a rapeist. (i think thats strong but thats how strong he can come on sometimes). He complains I don't show enough affection, which is kind of true because everytime I get close to even cuddle, he starts staring down my shirt, or grabbing my boobs, or my ***. And not just laying his hand there, I mean GRABBING. I do love him, dearly, but how on earth can I get my point across, and teach him to take things slowly when it comes to sex. Not step by step but, make him more subtle and gradually be more romantic. I know I have a few things to work on as well, and I try but I've realized whats going on, he's still confused on why I dont want sex. Even after explaination. He doesnt try to change even a small bit. Sorry this was so long, and problably confusing as hell. Thanks to all that take the time to read it and soak it in. =)Boyfriend think I don't love him because we don't have sex often. Warning, very LONG.?
I know all to well this situation. My girlfriend and I are going through the same thing. I am beginning to understand that the reason she does not want it is not because she doesn't like me but its because of other reasons like me always picking the wrong time.





I too acted paranoid and things seemed to go downhill from there, but i began to take a new outlook on the situation. I was scared that my girl was gonna leave me because of how big of a dick i was acting, so i decided to let her take the reins so to speak and not try anything unless she initiated it.





If your man really loves you, he would not try and rape you just to get some. He would do the romantic thing and not go straight to sex. Since you already told him this, be more stern with him. Give him ultimatums like ';if you pull that again I am going to leave you.';





If he pulls the drama queen thing again and says ';fine you don't love me'; then reply with ';if you keep forcing me to do something im not comfortable with then your the one who does not love me because you don't respect me'; or something to that effect.





The fact that your not having much sex with him should not tell him that you don't love him it should be a signal to tell him that he is being to aggressive and not being a gentleman.








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