Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How can I get a girlfriend?

Hi, I’m 23 and I’ve never had a girlfriend before.





I’ve tried talking to girls in pubs and nightclubs, at university, on dating websites and facebook and myspace, but none are interested.





They always ignore me, or they say I’m not their type, or they are looking for somebody special (indicating that I am not special).





I’m not ugly or stupid, and I’m a nice guy all the time, but I’m not a very good conversationalist at all especially with somebody I’ve just met. Also I think being nice puts off a lot of people especially younger girls; some have told me they like guys who are ‘players’ and treat them badly sometimes so they are kept on their toes and won’t get bored. I think that is pretty sad and I don’t want to change myself... so yeah.





You could help me by suggesting places or activities that might help me find someone... or suggest lines I could use to open a conversation with... or tell me how you met your partner so I have an idea how it happens... any kind of help is good!





Some people have told me just not to look for someone and get on with other things in life, and wait for a relationship to happen. Thanks, but I can’t - I’ve tried. I feel really lonely most of the time and really want cuddles and kisses and all those nice things I’ve never had, and to feel special and wanted. I see what other people have and it makes me think what is wrong with me, why don’t I have someone who wants to spend time with me and cuddle.





All the people who tell you not to get a girlfriend/boyfriend have had one before so I don’t think they know what it feels like to be an outcast in a world where everyone else is coupled up. I cry a lot and sometimes wish I was dead. (Yes I am on antidepressants already, I don’t need medical advice.) Also I would like to have sex some day; not saying it’s the most important thing, but it’s a big part of life that I’ve been missing out on, quite a big deal I think.





The other bit of advice I get a lot is to cheer up because when you are happy, it makes other people happy. That is good advice and I am working on this... it’s just hard to put on a front sometimes because I’ve been sad for a while now. When people ignore me it makes me feel sad, and then people are more likely to ignore me because I’m sad – it’s a cycle like that. I am quite cheerful sometimes though and I do smile sometimes! (But still not attracting the ladies.)How can I get a girlfriend?
Alright Tom, im young but heres what I know.





First off, confidence works wonders. You have to truely believe in yourself to come off as a guy that has a shot with these girls. Try working out, that really helps self esteem, a new hair cut, new clothes, shoes anything. If your feeling confident it drastically changes your appearance.





Second, know your ';market';, i guess ha. Girls in clubs, bars, etc are going to be looking for the best they can get most times, and are shallow. So thats where meeting people would be easiest, but at the same time hardest to be successful. Try just casual situations in stores, parks, coffee shops, music stores, book stores, wherever your in contact with women. Also, dont set your sights to high, work your way up. The more experience/interactions you have with women the more comfortable and better you'll become.





Look through some magazines or something, see what types of clothes and stuff are stylish and find something you might be able to pull off. Girls love someone whos style is up to date.





I wanna keep this kind of brief and organized to avoid rambling, so there are some things to think about.





Just dont over think things and be natural and relaxed.How can I get a girlfriend?
You need to believe in yourself, think positive, be yourself, don't change, just let things happen naturally, you don't want to come across to keen, play hard to get, work on you self esteem, woman don't want a guy who treats them like crap I certainly don't but a guy who come across confident is sexy.
if you are looking in pubs %26amp; night clubs


you seem the type of guy who is worth a little more than that





Im sorry i cant tell you exactly where you can look


buy you will find someone someday





i promise :)
don't worry you'll find someone someday. there's still plenty of time lft. you don't want to have a girlfriend that doesn't like you, so just keep looking. i promise you will find someone.
Stop over analyzing it, get drunk, have fun..


Be relaxed about it, or.. just get a escort.. woo woo £120 a hour :)


And you don't have to take her home to mum
start by deleting this question,


makes you sound like a loser.
just be nice %26amp;%26amp; eventually someone will come 2 you.. my lil bro also said go to a strip club.. you will have so many girls on you you will feel like king of the world.
dont worry the right one will come when your not even expecting it ! cheer up (:
cheer up :p
Not the right conversation to have on this. PM me and we'll talk
Hey, I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend either...although I won't find one until I'm ready to be getting married and not messing/sleeping around. But even then I know what you mean; I haven't noticed any girls even looking twice at me and I'm not ugly (try lifting weights maybe? ;-) ). Seriously, I don't think it means anything special. Just be proud of yourself.





Anyway, I think your confidence has a LOT to do with it. I'm not even the most confident, outgoing dude myself. But trust me. Have you ever seen a really pretty girl with a not so good looking guy or vice versa? That's due to the ';ugly'; person being fun, outgoing, smiley, and always ready for a good laugh. They come across as confident and confident will always WIN.





There's my 2 cents! Best wishes for you, friend.
Try buying a girl a drink





:) btw you seem like a pretty nice guy to me and the type of guy i'd go for but well im too younge and i have my own problems with love as you can see from my question :( http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind…
Aww man I feel sorry for you, (although im 14 and iv never had one but theres one or two who I think have there eye on me ;) but I get cuddles all the time lol ) Yeah so as that other person said, delete this question, try to get in touch with your friends friends who are girls, or get to know a girl at your work place.





Good luck dude :)





P. S: mentioning the thing about cuddles, kisses and sex has probably made it worse for yourself.
One thing i have learnt is that it is really hard to pick up girls when you are trying really hard unless your a stud, which i take it your not,


You just need to go out, have a few drinks, have fun and dont seem too desperate to find a chick.


You will eventually meet someone. Theres 6 billion people in the world. Im sure one of them is like you.


Im not saying you shouldnt try to get in with a girl at all, just dont seem too desperate. Be yourself.
The whole girls liking players is a load of rubbish!!!


ok we like players but then their only there for the fun of it, but by the time we need a proper releationship we need a guy like you, you seem like my type and a lot of other girls types, just hold your head up high and your perfect girl will come along:)


i can promise you that :)


x
1) Get a job


2) save up £8500


3) Buy £500 plane tickets to Thailand.


4) look around breifly.


5) buy a wife for no more than £8000 (if she is, shes a rip-off and probably a man)


6) go back to england with her


7) brag to your friends about your hard-working, cleaning, washing, helpful, non-annoying, constantly horny Thai girl ;] easaaaay!

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