Wednesday, August 18, 2010

What do you do when your child is acting out, at the age of two and half, because you have a boyfriend?

my daughter is two and half and i have a steady boyfriend who comes over to spend time with me and cuddles and is affectionate towards me. my daughter sees it all and she gets jealous and doesnt want to share me. she tells him to take his hands off me and to not touch me and she tells him to get off of me. i dont know how to show her or tell her that she has to share her mom and i tell her that i love her all the time and i spend quality time with her and read and color with her. but, i do work full time so i am away from her for most of the day. she likes my boyfriend and he plays with her but the other day she took a hanger and hit him in the face and i did reprimand her. i dont know what made her do that. i need help!! i was told by my sister that i have to put her in check but i dont know exactly how to and when she has her tantrums i try to talk to her and figure her out but it isnt working. SOME ONE PLEASE HELP ME.What do you do when your child is acting out, at the age of two and half, because you have a boyfriend?
you need to not stress over this if he's going to be aprat of both she'll get ues to him being there but sure that he's going to be in your life if not you should not incorpreate him in your childs life meet with him out side of your home if it's not serious relationshipWhat do you do when your child is acting out, at the age of two and half, because you have a boyfriend?
Yes she is acting out and she will continue to act out, I don't think you should introduce your children, mainly daughters, to men that come into your life, too quickly. First she is in the terrible 2(s), second she knows that is not her father, she is going to act out and demand your attention, she is 2, this is the only way she knows how. Lets regroup this thing, the time that the three of you spend together should not always include the three of you sitting around watching TV, let there be outings and limit the in home time, because home is where she feels the safest, that is the place for you and her and later, when she is a little older, make that time longer, but for now it is, really, all about her. I am not saying get rid of the boyfriend, I am just saying let her know that there is enough time and love in your heart for the both of them, but that she does come first. God Bless.
Wow, you poor thing! How long have you been single with your daughter? That's the first question. The other thing is, of course she's jealous, and rightfully so, she's young and she sees someone else being affectionate to you when it's not her. But I'm stating the obvious. I would honestly incorporate all three of you in cuddling time. If he spends the night, (which is no big deal) that's YOUR cuddling time and she'll be in bed. Or another good thing is for him to let the two of you just cuddle, this will show her that he's not hogging you and is ok with hit. I went through the same thing two years ago with my fiance at the time. His four year old daughter acted the same way, she wasn't violent, but she had a mouth so to speak.





So, if you include her in your cuddling time so she doesn't feel left out and gets equal attention, OR you and child cuddle while he's sitting there and he shows positive signs, I think her behavior will change =) Good luck!
You daughter is 2 1/2 and already running your life. Your the mother be a women and put your foot down. She's gotta learn to understand whether she likes something or someone or not shes gotta learn to deal. Yea when your cuddling with your man invite her to sit on ur lap also. But there is no way your daughter should be running your relationship
OK, here's your help, but you won't like it.





You can tell your daughter ALL DAY LONG that you love her, etc. but what she is *clearly* telling you is that her needs are not being met. She is telling you in the only way a 2-year old knows how to communicate.


Here is what she is saying to you: ';Mommy, you have limited time with me. I do not want to share you with anyone else. I do not understand your need for another person to love on you and kiss you, because you have me, and not only do I love you, but I worship you, and I am afraid when I think that your (already limited) time and attention have to be spread even thinner. I am very afraid that I will not get what I need. I am trying to tell you this in the only way I know how, because my vocabulary is so limited at age 2 and a half, but already even as a toddler, you are telling me back that you don't care about my feelings and it is not safe to express my feelings to you. You are telling me if you don't like my feelings I get punished.';





See? Told you you wouldn't like it....
Well- I believe that she is just wanting your attention- since you do work full time and don't get to spend much time with her. The reason she is acting out(negatively) is because any attention rather it be good or bad is better than none. You have to remember she is a very young child- I do not see how a child this young could be ';put in check';?


I feel that if you begin showing her more attention with your boyfriend she will become less apt to throw her tantrums. Such as both you and your bf play games with her- such as rolling the ball, on a swing set, etc.. Maybe she is just feeling left out..


Just a thought!
You have to get control over the situation because it has really gone out of hand. She is obviously jealous because she probably thinks that your boyfriend will steal you away. Its probably a normal feeling.
When your boyfriend wants to cuddle with you, why not invite her up on your lap for a ';group'; hug. 2 1/2 year olds don't have long attention spans and she will want to get down in just a few minutes. But your sister is right about keeping this in check. You need to tell her that you want to sit and cuddle and hug your boyfriend (as long as nothing inappropriate is going on in front of her). If she continues to react physically she needs to be put in time out and told that hitting is NOT okay and you won't tolerate it. Why not encourage your boyfriend to do things with your daughter while you are getting dinner ready or changing clothes from work (they could read together or play dolls together or whatever she likes) that way they form a bond and have ';daddy'; and me time kind of thing. Maybe he could even take her to the park, just the two of them so she gets some ';me'; time of her own if he is up to it. And you should all do ';family'; time things together - take a walk in the park, go to the local diner together, go to a museum or zoo. Good luck and God Bless.

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