Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Was I wrong to have kicked him out after sex?

I met this really nice man at church . we were supposed to have an official first date, however, i canceled because something came up. So I let him come over to hang out. And then the next night, i let him come over...but the next time I let him come over it was around 10 pm and we had (sex) and then he wanted to fall asleep. It was around 1 a.m. and he said he wanted to sleep over. (I noticed he had a backpack with him, maybe a change of clothes).


I told him,...(after sex and cuddling) that he needed to go home. I told him I just wanted to be alone and sleep alone and that maybe we should not have had sex. But he got upset and said I was beaing mean by not letting him sleep over. I told him I was afraid my ex-boyfriend would drive by and see his car and hurt me or him. He said he should stay to keep me safe. I insisted he go home, really insisted....I pushed him out of bed pretty much. It was late,, I was cranky and didn't quite know what I wanted to do. Sleeping together and actually ';sleeping'; makes things seem sort of serious and puts the relationship in a different catagory. I couldn't really explain myself to him at the moment. But he said something on his way out ';how many times did your dork ex-boyfriend get to sleep over?'; . I got upset. But I knew my ex for a bit longer before he slept over...we actually dated first.


I know I was wrong to have had sex so soon. But now he is upset. I called him because he didn't call me. He was really pushing to get off the phone. So I sent him a text saying sorry and trying to explain myself....I didn't want him to think he could just sleep over,...I sometimes just want to be alone, take off my make up, wear ugly pj's etc,..esp after getting so close so soon with a very different man than I have been used to.


Was I wrong to kick him out after....or is it an unspoken rule that you sleep together after you sleep together/Was I wrong to have kicked him out after sex?
I'm assuming that it was his assumption that he could just spend the night (the packed backpack) that sent you over the edge. Tell him that. Call him and tell him that you want to talk about it. Explain to him why it bothered you that he assumed that he could stay over, that the two of you were that serious, and/or whatever else is bothering you. See if having both of you understand what is going on makes the situation any better. If it does, you're golden, if it doesn't than you weren't right for each other anyway.Was I wrong to have kicked him out after sex?
Generally you're ready for the emotional intimacy by the time the physical intimacy comes along. He may be feeling as if you used him.
Well you basically told him that you used him and then suddenly became ';born again';. You're terrible.
tony f is so right u used him you whore!
To tell you the truth that was kind of mean. I don't think its wrong to have sex with someone so soon is wrong, I just think you should like them enough to want to sleep beside them, before you do! I just think intimacy is an important part of sex, and sleeping with someone is one of the most Intimate things you can do.
you weren't wrong to kick him out but it was late


he was out of place bringing a bag he should have left it in his car


he definitely feels used


i have been kicked out afterward and it wasn't pleasant but i understand where it comes from





less awkward then being sent to sleep on the couch after thats just weird
You shouldnt of had sex with him. Its all about self controle and by the sounds of it he was just a booty call and your still in love with your ex.





Of course hes not going to want to tlk to you. You forced him out your house after sex! Dont you think that was a bit harsh. Your going to have to explain your self in person to get out of this one.





Also you cant be that in to your god if your going against him andf having one night stands!
so basically you turned him into a booty call
I guess hes feeling pretty used right now then? I can understand where you're coming from because you wasn't happy with the situation but if a guy did that to you, you'd be pretty annoyed.





If you've explained yourself to him theres nothing else you can do.. if you keep contacting and 'bugging' him its going to make the situation worse. I think you should leave it.. see if he contacts you back!





If you like this guy then you've done the wrong thing by sleeping with him the first time, giving him the wrong impression about yourself
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