Complicated boyfriend question. What do you do in this situation? Men, please answer, too. How would you feel?

I have been in a relationship for nearly nine months. It's going okay so far for the most part. But, sometimes I feel like I have brought a lot of baggage into this relationship. I am not used to being in a relationship with someone who treats me so well. I came from an abusive relationship about 4 years ago. Since then, this is the first man I have dated. Other boyfriends in the past weren't so great either. But, with the man I am dating now, I really want this to work. He knows about my ex- boyfriend and he knows he's the first one I have dated, since. I feel like I am putting a lot of burden on him with that. I am trying to be the best girl I can for him. I am not trying to be too clingy or needy. Yet, I find myself asking him if were doing okay, or if I'm being this way or that. I sometimes feel I am too clingy. Today, for example, he came to my house before work and made him lunch. He seemed very tired today. After lunch he went in my living room to relax an an easy chair I have and what did I do? I went and sat nearly on top of him. I wanted to hold his hand and cuddle. I felt like I was invading his breathing room. That wasn't my intention. Then we moved over to my couch and started having sex. I am not sure if he was really up to it. He didn't say he didn't want to, but I feel like I forced myself on him. I think he just wanted to relax. I told him my concern and that I felt I was being too clingy. I told him I am trying not to be one of those girls that hangs on their boyfriend all the time, or whose too clingy. I told him I felt badly, he said ';because you feel you forced yourself on me?'; He said if he didn't want to do anything he would have just said he was tired. Though, I also feel like this because I think I am wanting the love and affection from him that I never really got from anyone else. I feel sometimes like I hold him too much and want too much affection from him. I don't want to go around questioning things in our relationship. I don't want to be clingy or needy. This comes from wanted to be appreciated and wanted to be loved. I don't want to ruin this with him. How can I not do this so much? Men, what would you do if your girlfriend was this way? How does he really feel? Also, I feel like I tell him too often that I love him and I get afraid that irritates him more than it makes him feel good.Complicated boyfriend question. What do you do in this situation? Men, please answer, too. How would you feel?
I would be living in paradise if my woman does on me what you're doing on him. Yes I would love to be loved by such a woman.