Monday, August 16, 2010

Is my girlfriend cheating on me?

After thanksgiving dinner my girlfriend dropped me off at my place and had told me she was going to her roommate's(steve) family's house now to spend time over there with him and his family but would come back to my condo later that night to spend more time with me. But what I thought was strange was that my girlfriend didnt invite her male roommate with us to her other friends house. I asked her why? She said because ';I am unstable and he is unstable too'; and we wouldnt mix well together. Then she drops me off at home and goes to visit him and leaves me at home just like she did to him. Yet im her boyfriend! I said are you cheating on me with your roomate steve? She said no! He is mildly retarded from scarlett fever. She told me she manages his money and is a christian guy. I got mad and jealous. I asked her why is she keeping me and her roommate steve seperate from each other? I asked her why share with emotions with him when im your boyfriend? She said because she is like his ';mom.'; She is right about that her nickname is ';mom'; by her friends. She takes care of people. She told me cause her roommate writes her poetry and cares for her--but no sex. I told her you need to set boundaries with him and tell him we are dating! Im your boyfriend. Not him! So she drops me off and goes to see him and then returns to my place 3 hours later and i couldnt take it anymore and i snapped. We both start yelling at each other.I asked her if she was cheating on me and why she was spending so much time with her roommate(steve)? She said i was insecure and unstable. I told her she wont commit to me. Anyway, she started freaking out and said she wanted to leave my condo and i said no. Lets talk. She said i can date anyone i want. I think she was just mad.

She then said she was going to call the cops. I told her to go ahead because you are emotionally abusing me by stringing me along with other guys. I told her she needs to tell them we are dating---not just hanging out--if we are dating. Finally she relaxed and stayed at my condo....i told her we need to separate. Then we held each other and started crying. Then she started telling me about the stress she was under with her dog dying and all. She started crying her eyes out and i started crying too. She's having family problems too. We layed in bed some of the night---we cuddled and kissed but she wouldnt have sex with me. I feel sometimes she is pulling away from me and we have sex less often.. She was supposed to meet my family but canceled on me cause she had business to work on today. Which I thought it was a lie because she texted me all day long about things I need to learn and why i havent prepared for the future for a family. Whats going on with her? I dont even know if we are dating anymore? What do i say to her? I care about her and have feelings for her a lot. Should i give her space? She told me last week that if i sleep with anyone else and if I go out with THAT GIRL i met last week then its over. Now she is saying ';I can date anyone i want';----that hurts far worst because feel like she is losing her feelings for me. How do I pull her back in and make her love me again?

Anyone have any suggestions? No silly answers please.

Is my girlfriend cheating on me?
Tell her that you love her... Tell her that you trust her, but it bugs you that she spend so much time with Steve... Give her some time and check again later cause maybe she told you that you could date anyone out of anger and desperation. Just don't do anything to irrational.

Good LuckIs my girlfriend cheating on me?
Well for starters you can't make someone love you.

I think that you both need space from eacother, for the both of you to gather your thoughts together on where this relationship is going. It seems to be in a really unhealthy postion right now, and i don't think its going to get better with this emotionally up and down game you guys are both playing. One minute you guys are strongly saying hurtful things to one another and the next you are cuddling, and wondering why she won't go farther with you. Something is wrong there? My opinion on this is that you should both take a big step back, and look at yourselfs, and really look at what you want in a relationship, and if this is something very good to hold on to. I think you guys both need to look at your own flaws and then look at eachothers, and see if you can deal with eachothers insecurities. Then sit down with one another and have a long talk with no interuptions, phones off, and just tell her how you feel coming from the heart, and be calm about it, if shes not calm then tell her then i guess your not ready to really discuss this. But don't accuse her of cheating, alot of girls well really all girls love having time with friends, weather its a girl or boy, people need someone to talk to, when they feel like they can't confront the person they care more about first, they wanna make sure of themselves. Well go call her.

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