I hate feeling this insecure/jelouse with my boyfriend, when there is no reason too! Please help!?

Hiya! Thank you for clicking to read this, and I apologise in advance if this turns out to be a really long explanation!





To start, I have been with my boyfriend for a year. im 23 and hes 31 - so there is a bit of an age gap, but one that im happy with. we have an amazing relationship - he loves and worships me, and the feeling is completly mutual. He tells me all the time that he thinks im beautiful/fit/attractive, and we trust each other 100000000%, so why on earth do i get sooooo insecure and jelous when he says female celebrities/other girls are fit?





The thing is, he never turns round randomly and announces 'oh shes fit' to me - he says it more as a joke if you see what i mean, particularly when he is around his mates. A few examples for you would be - when we were round his guy mates house, we were watching a music video with all these attractive scantly clad girls dancing around on tables, and he said 'oh, i realise why i like this video.' but when he said it, he immediatly turned to me laughing and said im 'im only joking!' another time we were at a party, and his cousin was joking around saying that he had a new job as a pornstar. my boyfriend turned round and said 'oooo, can you get me a job??' i made a sad face at him (when you poke your bottom lip out lol!!!) and he cuddled me and said again, 'im only messing!!' another example would be that we were walking through town and there was a picture of Kym Marsh on a mag. he randomly said ' i think shes really pretty.' and i abruptly said 'thanks a lot!!' i felt so stupid because it just came out, and he said ' aw hun, i dont mean it like that. your more beuatiful!' even though he says that, and says hes messing around i still cant help that really stange hot, burning feeling in the pit of my stomache - and the jelousy/insecurity i feel.





Another thing (i wont be too much longer!!!) is that hes at the age when the majority of his mates are married or engaged. hes been to lots of stag parties etc etc, which have all ultimatly resulted in ending up in strip clubs. I HATE the thought of him in them though. i cant stand it. Ive told him how i feel about strip clubs as a whole - and he says 'Nothing happens in strip clubs to worry about. Its a bunch of girls with fit bodies dancing around.' (i got that insane jelous feeling when he said that they had fit bodies.) he also said ' I know that sometimes they can say pretty racy things to you - but I dont get turned on by them. you know that they only say it for the money. If you said it however......' etc. I should be happy when he says things like that - but i cant help feeling jelous.





Does anyone else have this issue? Does anyone else feel that they have the most amazing boyfriend, but still feel jelous/insecure?I hate feeling this insecure/jelouse with my boyfriend, when there is no reason too! Please help!?
YES! i just posted the EXACT same question!





anyway, you really just need to have faith in him and believe in yourselfs! you said you trusted him 10000 percent, thats reason enough not to get insecure. besides, he keeps telling you that you're more beautiful! there's a reason he's with YOU and not the other 'fit' girls. you have so much more! they may be beautiful faces - but he loves someone who's made his own life beautiful !





besdies a little jealousy is always healthy, this way you both will realize how much you love him and you'll keep working more to look your best !





you need to realize that theres a lot more to a relationship than just liking each others looks. you apparently have all of the other stuff ! you cannot be the most beautiful woman in the world- and u 'll have to accept it- but you ARE the most beautiful woman in HIS world :)





my best wishes with you both :)





p.s. can you please try answerin mine? i think you'll be able to help!I hate feeling this insecure/jelouse with my boyfriend, when there is no reason too! Please help!?
I know how you feel and you should talk to him. Say I know you're doing nothing wrong but it's really getting to me and the only reason it bothers me is because I care so much. I'm sure he'll understand and be a bit more careful about what he says. Good luck :)
I think it's quite natural to feel jealous or insecure sometimes, but if you trust each other like you say you both do, then I don't think you shouldn't feel this way. I mean, if the jealousy or insecurity gets out of hand, then there is a problem.





I felt the way you did when I dated someone older than me (he was 7 years older), and I broke up with him because of my insecurity about our relationship. It became worse when he moved out of state, and I thought it would never work. I guess I didn't trust him. I think also the fact that he has experienced much more in life has made you feel like this?





Maybe something happened during your childhood that has made you feel this way. Usually insecure feelings stem from something that happened during childhood.





He loves you (and you love him), you both trust each other. Maybe it would help to talk to him about all this, and he would have a better understanding of why you feel this way. Good luck.
It doesn't sound like you're doing anything crazy (Like getting in the face of random women he might look at), so it's probably not that big of a deal.





Just remember that he's never going to meet any of those celebrities, and even if he did, they probably wouldn't be interested.





As for the strip clubs, you can be pretty sure nothing happened because he's not hiding the fact that he went. Since it's only for special occasions and most of his friends are already married, you probably won't have to deal with it much longer.