To start off, I understand each person is able to have their own opinion, and people are raised to follow different morals and set different standards. Please be respectful in your answers but provide a debatable opinion.
How can I accept that my friend and I have different beliefs on the following things? should I just not talk about it anymore?
One of my friends does not believe in premarital sex, which is fine. I do not have a problem with it whatsoever. What I do have trouble understanding is how sleeping in bed with another man and doing nothing but cuddling, this man also being your boyfriend in a committed monogamous relationship lasting more than a few weeks, is not deemed as morally acceptable. I do not see how cuddling with a man is deemed sinful and unacceptable. I personally love cuddling and do not see the problem with having a boyfriend by you once in a while at night (not some random guy who you met at a party, but someone you're in a relationship with.)
secondly, my friend states (we are 18-19 in college) that she does not want to date someone she cannot see marrying. I find this difficult to grasp. Why not date for fun? Why not see what you like and what you dont like in a future husband? Yes, you may have moral standards and guidelines, but if you can't see yourself marrying an individual who meets these guidelines, should one discount them? and can one honestly not date for fun, someone to have a fun time with and enjoy their company?
Opinions, words of wisdom on accepting moral difference?
Each time we talk about this I ask questions. Is this bad? I dont want her to think I'm questioning her morals and telling her what is wrong and right, I'm curious where her thoughts come from (more the second than the first).Relationships and Morals/Personal Opinions?
I agree with you though, there is nothing wrong with in todays society to be sleeping with your man or your woman in a monogamous relationship. Abstinence clearly does not work, and shows that is is harmful because too people are happy and committed. She is clearly afraid of finding the wrong system and was taught by this as her christian values. The first person you meed might not be your husband.Relationships and Morals/Personal Opinions?
Cuddling in bed with a guy is in my opinion being a tease.
Personally, I wouldn't be IN BED unless it was for sex and then if I was cuddling it would be after sex.
That's just my opinion and you are free to live your life the way you see fit.
As far as only dating a future husband.... I have dated just for fun and it was fine--- but I do understand the mindset of only dating a boyfriend with future husband potential. It's like........ why waste your time with someone you aren't compatible with when your future husband is alive and out there waiting for you. It's like...... if your boyfriend doesn't have husband potential then you are wasting your time with second best. I do understand where your friend is coming from.
ok the cuddling thing is cuddling puts thoughts of sexual acts into peoples heads and could lead to sex. Its safer not to be int he same bed if you really want to wait on sex before marriage. secondly alot of people don't date for fun which I agree is lame because I think you need to get to know a group of people before you settle on one. I don't think she is going to think your bad for your own opinions but don't try to push your thoughts on here you two will not change each others ideas. If you two are friends then you should be able to have discussions about these things just if it starts to get a bit heated then drop it. After all it's not your life it is hers and everyone needs to do what they think is best for themselves
If the disagreement is too great then is better not to bring it up because it will be taken as an attack on her belief system. Is ok to talk about it every now and then when it come up but, do not push it. Simply put talk about something else.
The way I see it is that everybody has their own belief. The good thing about belief is that they are just that, beliefs. You don't need proof and you don't even have toi be correct. I mean that's what belief is by definition. It is lack of proof. So, you can believe in whatever you want and is ok. I think beliefs only become a problem when other people try to force them on you. Force being the key word.
Sounds like even though your accepting your friend for her own beliefs, what she believes is bothering you somehow.
People will give you their answers agreeing with her or agreeing with you. What I think matters more though is honesty with yourself.
If there is a nagging feeling about what your doing with your boyfriend, then that needs to be addressed. Maybe between you and God.
Its good that you ask your friend why she does what she does, it helps you each understand one another better.
For myself, i too wouldnt date anyone i couldnt see myself marrying, becuase i dont wanna waste time. I beleive everyone has a soulmate. Best described think of this - You have a husband out there, he could be a 'fun date' or someone you havent even met. So treat his as you would want YOUR husband to be treated by another girl. In all i like this concept becuase it can set limitatons and really make one think about WHO they choose to date. I guess another reason i wouldnt just 'date for fun' would be becuase i have set very high standards for myself and im not about to change them by any means just to have a little fun, hope this helped a bit!
Oh and i do currently have a Bf, of 2 years. He is indeed my first boyfriend, and hopefully the man i will marry. i am 19.
No comments:
Post a Comment